Jared and Sebastian - A Love Story
by Lucinda Jean
Summary: Jared the buff turkey and Sebastian the bunny during the Stalin takeover, WWII
1. Chapter 1

**PART 1**

Bunny Sebastian always considered himself a good person. By person I mean bunny. Because Sebastian was a bunny. He may have been oppressed my societies idolisms of the 'normal' bunny family, but the farmers were happy, his wife was happy, and his kids weren't doing any drugs. By societies standards, Sebastian was a good bunny. And by society I mean bunny society. Because Sebastian was a bunny.

It was a Sunday when his wife was killed. That's a lie bunny's don't have a concept of time, it was just the day that Sebastian got 2 carrots instead of 1 for breakfast. The sun seemed to shine brighter when you were eating two carrots instead of 1, so the bunny community of Green's farms called it 'Sun-Day'. They thought they were quite clever.

His wife was never to type of person to seem suicidal, she smiled a lot and ate plenty and laughed at all of bunny Sebastian's jokes. She knew an uprising was coming, though. She and her kids ran off into the sunset, the sunset paved in charcoal and broken dreams. A red truck hit them. Death was presumed instant. There was no funeral, there was no time because as soon as the dust had settled on his precious wife's and children's bodies, and their exposed organs were glistening in the rosy sun, there came a gun shot.

Only one at first.

_Bang._

Exposed silence.

A silence accented by the bang.

Then another one.

_Bang._

"It's the red army!" Sebastian's bunny sister called.

"Don't be silly, sister bunny. The red army wouldn't attack us; we are a pro-communism farm."

Sebastian's bunny sister scoffed and ran into her pen. Sebastian couldn't help but feel a pang of self-doubt in the depths of his stomach.

"Is it something I've done?" Sebastian thought. "Have I upset the great Stalin? It's not possible. For god sakes I gave up Mormonism for that man!"

Before Sebastian could fathom why Stalin was invading their happy farm, another bang went off, and the definite wheeze of a spider echoed throughout the farm.

"Charlotte!" Sebastian shouted.

You see, Sebastian didn't consider affaires to qualify as a bad person act. As long as his wife was happy, he was happy.

And as you can probably assume, Sebastian and the spider Charlotte had had an affair. They weren't in love; they were just coincidentally kept in the same pen. Shit happens.

Sebastian valorously ran into the barn but alas, it was too late.

Charlotte was a mere splatter on the floor. A mark to sneer at. A fraction of her previous self (except not really a fraction because the atomic law of matter states that matter can not be created nor destroyed, only transferred, so she was still all there just in different pieces and without a subconscious).

Everybody in the barn fled like assorted animals fleeing from a gunshot. Sebastian could see him, the red soldier, the Russian sporting a red band on his arm over his green uniform. Sebastian looked at the coat buttons, because the buttons were shinny and he is a bunny and bunnies have a short attention span, and then looked back down at his previous lover's remains.

"Scott," he whispered to the spider. "Your secret is forever safe with me. You will be remembered as the gender you identify as. I'm not judging."

He kissed the loving spiders squashed head.

"Until I see you on the other side, Charlotte."

Sebastian stood over Charlotte's/Scott's remains one final time. He then looked ahead and marched straight at the red soldier, passing by his stall is the process.

Sebastian didn't look back. He knew in his pen he would find Scott's web, saying '2-4-6-8 DON'T ASSUME YOUR FRIENDS ARE STRAIGHT'.

He loved that pen.

He loved vengeance more.


	2. Chapter 2

**PART 2**

The soldier was better than Sebastian in every way. He was bigger, stronger, and had a gun. But Sebastian had one secret weapon.

HE WAS FUCKING ADORABLE.

And he was not afraid to manipulate others into his cuteness.

So Sebastian flirting the hell out of that barn.

He pouted his lips and opened his eyes super wide. He did that weird Ariana Grande angle thing but he pulled it off because, as previously mentioned, HE IS FUCKING ADORABLE. And he stuck out that bootay, because you gotta flaunt wat yo mamma gave you.

And the guard pointes his gun at Sebastian's head, and wanted to pull the trigger, but he couldn't. The soldier's hand faltered and shook with overwhelming cuteness. He had no choice but to sentence Sebastian the bunny to Siberia, for sharing a pen with Charlotte and not telling the Great Stalin of her transsexual conspiracies.

Sebastian decided he would live on, for Charlotte, for his wife and children, and for his sister (who was really only used so that I didn't have to create another character and who we can just presume is also dead because I'm lazy and am tired of killing off characters romantically). He would spread the word of the LGBTQQASP club and flash his rainbows across the red communism flag.

Sebastian would be fabulous. He had to be.


End file.
